Written by Mr. Leung Wing Lok, an octopus parent
Since I got a Kim Jong-un haircut by a hair stylist, I have been thinking about whether I should implement “Kim Jong-un style of discipline” at home to a pair of children, and to authoritatively promote my personal hero worship to my father, so as to regain my status and authority in the family, and to implement the “Great Father Leader”, and I am planning to hang my own magnificent pictures in all rooms and play the “Love Daddy” song, but unfortunately, it has been a failure before implementation.
Should you build authority in your children from a young age?
Many of my friends would remind me to build authority while my children are still young, otherwise we will not be respected when they grow up. The friends’ good intentions are based on how they were “taught” or “lectured” when they were young, and then they “respected” and “feared” their fathers, and had a good relationship with their fathers when they grew up, so they concluded that “filial children come out from under the rod” and “don’t be disobedient”.
A friend shared his personal story of being beaten “because he was beaten every day, both big and small, he was already used to it”, and one night he felt strange because he had not been “taught a lesson”, and before he went to bed, he did not forget to remind his parents “to beat or not to beat? If not, I will go to sleep ……” is full of black humor. But fortunately, my friend is a kind-hearted person who grew up without a vengeance and did not become a murderer.
Dismantling the true power of fatherhood
The question of how to establish the authority of a father is a perennial problem, and I ask “Why must we establish patriarchal authority? Is the purpose to facilitate management? A command was given and all the children obeyed. Or how much of it is to satisfy one’s own desire for power, “I am the father, you are the children, you must listen to what I say. Or even more, “I say one is one, and my children have no right to say two. I believe that if I were such an “authoritarian” father, I would not be happy either, because my father is not so domineering, and has never “dictated” my decisions on further education, employment, etc., except for when I scored near zero in exams and dictations when I was young, I would be given a harsh “What are you doing? I think this is the power of patriarchal authority.
Teaching by example is more important than discipline
Back to my “Kim Jong-un discipline”,
my eldest son, Hay, is always angry because of changing clothes, and the conversation
often goes like this, my wife or I: “Change your clothes! We’re going out!
“ I kept doing my best to show my fatherly authority (pretending) and said
angrily, “Go change your shirt, go, go, go! He was so disturbed but did
not do anything. My wife couldn’t resist: “You haven’t changed your shirt
yet? Is there anything wrong! Hay replied, “Daddy won’t help me change my
shirt! I said : “I’d help you change, but you didn’t. Come on over” He is
furious: “I want to change myself “ Normally I will be so angry but before
the fake role became a real anger, Hay came to me and hugged me and said
“Today is Father’s Day, Happy Father’s Day! I feel a sense of déjà vu….
Teaching by example is more important than discipline, and “Kim Jong-un’s
discipline” is even less necessary and is automatically set aside.
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